I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called The Domain of Other-Directedness. There are three schemas in this domain: Subjugation, Self-Sacrifice, and Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking.
Subjugation is where a person allows another person to dominate them. They surrender control because they fear either punishment or abandonment by the other person. There are two types, subjugation of emotions or subjugation of needs. In emotions they are suppressing their feelings such as anger. The person feels his own needs and feelings are not valid or important to other people. These people are excessively compliant and hypersensitive to feeling trapped. They feel bullied, harassed and powerless. There is a significant amount of fear with this schema. The goal is to help them see that they have rights to have their needs and feelings; they have the right to express them.
The Self-Sacrifice schema is similar to subjugation in the fact that a person is trying to meet the needs of others at the expense of their own needs. The difference is that this sacrifice is seen as voluntary. They do it to prevent others from experiencing pain, to do what they feel is right, to avoid feelings of guilt or selfishness, or to maintain connection with others. They feel resentful often when they do not get something in return even though they don’t expect anything in return. Goal is to help them see that everyone has the right to get their needs met, including themselves.
The Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking schema is when a person places an extreme emphasis on gaining approval or recognition. They are constantly focused on the reactions of others rather than their own reactions. Because of this they fail to develop a stable, inner-directed sense of self. There are two types: the one that wants everyone to like them and the second wants applause and admiration. The latter are frequently narcissistic. One person with this schema said I would rather look like I’m having a good life than actually having one. These people are people pleasers in order to get approval. They make us uncomfortable because they are so eager to please. The goal is to help them recognize the authentic self and that it is different than the false self.
I want to thank BlueStocking Mum for the Versatile Blogging award. It is such an honor to win this from someone who I think has such a wonderful blog. Thank you all for helping me through this exciting world of blogging it has been fun to get to know all of you and to learn and laugh with each one of you. Even though I may not comment on all of your blogs I do visit them each day to read your words of wisdom. They make me laugh and cry. They inspire me to be better to try harder. Thank you all for the changes you have made in my life.
Who has inspired you? Who has given you the strength to overcome your challenges?
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