Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 8

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called The Domain of Other-Directedness. There are three schemas in this domain: Subjugation, Self-Sacrifice, and Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking.

Subjugation is where a person allows another person to dominate them. They surrender control because they fear either punishment or abandonment by the other person. There are two types, subjugation of emotions or subjugation of needs. In emotions they are suppressing their feelings such as anger. The person feels his own needs and feelings are not valid or important to other people. These people are excessively compliant and hypersensitive to feeling trapped. They feel bullied, harassed and powerless. There is a significant amount of fear with this schema. The goal is to help them see that they have rights to have their needs and feelings; they have the right to express them.

The Self-Sacrifice schema is similar to subjugation in the fact that a person is trying to meet the needs of others at the expense of their own needs. The difference is that this sacrifice is seen as voluntary.  They do it to prevent others from experiencing pain, to do what they feel is right, to avoid feelings of guilt or selfishness, or to maintain connection with others. They feel resentful often when they do not get something in return even though they don’t expect anything in return. Goal is to help them see that everyone has the right to get their needs met, including themselves.

The Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking schema is when a person places an extreme emphasis on gaining approval or recognition. They are constantly focused on the reactions of others rather than their own reactions. Because of this they fail to develop a stable, inner-directed sense of self. There are two types: the one that wants everyone to like them and the second wants applause and admiration. The latter are frequently narcissistic. One person with this schema said I would rather look like I’m having a good life than actually having one. These people are people pleasers in order to get approval. They make us uncomfortable because they are so eager to please. The goal is to help them recognize the authentic self and that it is different than the false self.

I want to thank BlueStocking Mum for the Versatile Blogging award. It is such an honor to win this from someone who I think has such a wonderful blog. Thank you all for helping me through this exciting world of blogging it has been fun to get to know all of you and to learn and laugh with each one of you. Even though I may not comment on all of your blogs I do visit them each day to read your words of wisdom. They make me laugh and cry. They inspire me to be better to try harder. Thank you all for the changes you have made in my life.

Who has inspired you? Who has given you the strength to overcome your challenges?

Wow and look how close we are to reaching 100 followers!!!! 


  1. Wow, did you choose to write about all my schema's today? Not to announce my insecurities, but it's true. Thanks for sharing the goals for these schema's too, it'll give me something to work on, for myself.

    Congrats on the award. It is well deserved!

  2. I think everyone we meet has a chance to inspire us, either through being such a good example of who we want to be when we "grow up" or as an example of what to avoid because we see the pain and misery in their lives. For me, my family is the largest group who have given me strength to overcome challenges. I've have been really lucky in that regard. There are also countless people who I have come in contact with either through the writing or religious communities that offer great support.

  3. Very cool post. God gives me the strength to get through challenges. Definitely.

  4. i would give a shout out to my HS english teacher...she saw things in me before others did...and these are intersting characters as i think we can relate to the pleasing personality, the thing is do we ever really understand who they are or is it just the illusion presented by their need to please...

  5. What is interesting is that people who tend to subjugate themselves to others often end up in relationships where they are bullied or are subservient to another strong character.

    It's been a delight meeting you too Josh. I'll be coming back to use your posts as reference material.

  6. I just helped you along toward that 100 follower mark. I hope you reach it soon.

    Very nice analysis of ways to develop characters. I like your methods. Very useful.


  7. Congrats on the award! I am along same lines as April- I defineatly fall into alot of these catergoies and could defineatly work on them better!

    My Mommy and my wonderful Husband defineatly inspire me- don't know where I would be without them! :)

  8. As a Mom, and especially as Mom of a daughter with rather severe disabilities, I have to be very careful how deeply I go into the self-sacrifice schema... you can really get lost in there! I often don't like to be told I'm wonderful because I don't see it as a ME thing... I do it all for THEM. I've learned that I HAVE to take time for myself in order to take care of them! There's a common analogy in the 'parents of children with disabilities' world: If your airplane is going down, you must put on your own oxygen mask first in order to be able to help others get theirs' on.

    I am really good at being in friendships with approval-seeking people. :D I love to make people feel good and compliments come easily to me. Why I don't take them easily is beyond me! ;D

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